The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures.
Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority.
This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as:
* A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all.
* When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does.
The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.
With a razor wit and a kind heart, Bryson serves up a colorful tale of boredom, kitsch, and beauty when you least expect it. Gentler elements aside, The Lost Continent is an amusing book. Here's Bryson on the women of his native state: "I will say this, however--and it's a strange, strange thing--the teenaged daughters of these fat women are always utterly delectable ... I don't know what it is that happens to them, but it must be awful to marry one of those nubile cuties knowing that there is a time bomb ticking away in her that will at some unknown date make her bloat out into something huge and grotesque, presumably all of a sudden and without much notice, like a self-inflating raft from which the pin has been yanked."
Yes, Bill, but be honest: what do you really think?
At its heart, this is neither a historical study nor a family exposé. It is the sad story of a son who spent decades rebelling against an icy father and trying to make peace with him. He also searched for his own career in the shadow of his famous family. Gottfried maintains that his outspokenness ruined his chances in the German opera world, where Bayreuth casts a heavy influence (Wolfgang Wagner still runs the festival). Bayreuth has in fact changed in recent years, welcoming Jewish conductors like James Levine and Daniel Barenboim. But Gottfried sees this as a cynical move, necessary in--as he quotes Winifred--"these Jew-ridden times." Gottfried finally severed his ties to his domineering father in 1990 when he conducted a lecture tour in Israel. He now calls himself an "anti-Wagnerian," and he has formed a group to foster German-Jewish understanding. --David Olivenbaum
In Gottfried Wagner's memoir, Twilight of the Wagners: The Unveiling of a Family's Legacy, Hitler is an inescapable presence, as he was in Gottfried's family--one of the many specters haunting the Wagner estate, though young Gottfried wondered if he was the only one who could see them. One afternoon he discovered old photographs and oil paintings of Hitler among the family memorabilia. Warned never to mention the pictures to anyone, he became an unwilling coconspirator in his family's secret.
Gottfried Wagner reclaimed his voice during adolescence and began an impassioned crusade in adulthood to examine the hatred and racism he knew growing up in Bayreuth. Although disinherited and ostracized by his father, Gottfried has become an outspoken critic of Richard Wagner's legacy and a champion of greater understanding between Germans and Holocaust survivors worldwide. With a judicious eye for detail, a sweeping sense of conscience, and the determination to redeem himself and his past, Gottfried Wagner lays bare the sins of this powerful family.
This collection of reprints includes information readers have been patiently awaiting, such as:
*How to start your own country *How one nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day *The origin of video games *The origins of common words and phrases *The truth about the Bermuda Triangle *The inside story of Dr. Seuss
And, of course, it offers the more than 100 hot topics that the Bathroom Reader series is known for: movies, education, entertainment, corporate America, celebrities, literature, practical jokes, music, and a host of others.
Though this book offers information and pointers toward winning Blackjack in any of the world's casinos, whether they be in Nevada, Europe or the Islands, it is aimed primarily at the Atlantic City player. The casinos along the boardwalk play with a six deck shuffle, usually "burning" up to 10% of the cards (taking them out of play).
"Winning Blackjack in Atlantic City and Around the World" is for the beginner or intermediate player who would like to learn the game, avoid the pitfalls of miscalculation, manage money better and improve his or her calculating skills.
Fatsis gives us all the facts about Scrabble--from the story of the down-on-his-luck architect who invented the game in the 1930s to the intricacies of individual international competitions and the corporate wars to control the world's favorite word game. He keeps the reader turning the pages as we get involved in the lives of the Scrabble obsessives: men and women who have a point to prove against the world and have chosen Scrabble as their playground and their pulpit. As Fatsis goes on his own quest to attain the coveted 1600 rating, we actually get obsessed with him as he lies awake at night pondering moves and memorizing lists of words. For anybody who is interested in words, Word Freak provides an entertaining and absorbing read. --Dwight Longenecker, Amazon.co.uk
Everyone knows soaps arent real life. Or are they Just in time for gift-giving season, here is You Know Your Life Is a Soap Opera If . . . Fast, funny, and far from implausible, this charming little book shares all the truisms soap fans will recognize from their favorite storylines -- and from life. Things like:
--Everybody has secrets. Everybody else knows them.--Be kind to strangers. They are likely to be your family.--No former spouse ever really dies.--Never talk to yourself -- some scheming bitch will overhear and use it against you.--If you marry for money again and again, it wont buy you happiness -- but you will have a great wardrobe.--Dont reject a man because he's evil -- he could develop into a (smoldering, enigmatic, and/or brooding) romantic hero.--Youd be robbing yourself of the full courtroom experience if you were not threatened with contempt at least once.--Okay, the church burned down, the cake exploded, and your father was arrested for embezzlement while walking you down the aisle . . . Stop crying like this is the only wedding youre ever going to have.
Filled with knowing asides and the affection that comes with an intimate knowledge of the genre, it's sure to top soap opera fans wish list.